The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
