you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize