i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
