the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Come see our sink grown plant.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
