just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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