Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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