Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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