Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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