FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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