Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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