I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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