12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The beer is more important than you right now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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