then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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