i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
