i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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