WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
