dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
