I heard we made out
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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