I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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