we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
