Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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