I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
