We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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