P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
