I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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