I heard we made out
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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