Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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