their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize