at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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