My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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