Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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