what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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