i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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