So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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