3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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