You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
handjob tips. give me some.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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