Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize