I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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