Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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