So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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