Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
