I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
