So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
