don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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