its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
