i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't turn off my feet"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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