If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
