I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
babies were throwing up all over the place
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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