The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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