God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
