when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Your cock deserves a montage
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
