is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
