Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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