the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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