Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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